At the beginning of the new year, the author has decided to share more knowledge about sex on this website. As the first article, we start with interesting and wonderful sexual fantasy.
Foreword
The author once received a message from a reader:
I often fantasize about myself on sticky ground, with countless snake like tentacles crawling onto my body, entwining around me. On one hand, I feel nauseous and unable to breathe, while on the other hand, I feel particularly stimulated. Do I have any psychological problems?
I think this should be a female reader. She was frightened by uncontrollable and unacceptable sexual fantasies. But this is too normal! Human fantasies are obviously even more bizarre. So this blog will seriously discuss: What is sexual fantasy?
Sexual Fantasy: A Normal and Common Sexual Psychological Phenomenon
A survey in the UK shows that 46% of women and 42% of men think of others during sex. Many sexual fantasy objects are close friends or colleagues, and the people who appear most frequently in sexual fantasies have generally had sexual intercourse with the fantasist themselves. 60% of men and women fantasize about their former lover.
How do people perceive such sexual fantasies? The results showed that one-third of people felt that this was also a form of infidelity, while others had a more tolerant attitude. Some people think that this behavior is just a means to enjoy sexual life more, and they will not really put it into action. Many doctors also recommend that men with certain erectile dysfunction learn to use sexual fantasies during sexual activity and adjust their physical state.
Even though such sexual fantasies are normal, wanting the same person every time, and a specific familiar person, may be a sign of a deeper problem. Furthermore, it is worth noting that if sexual fantasies create a sense of alienation in the sexual experience and fail to reinforce the current feelings and relationships, then sexual fantasies may only be a way of escaping certain things.
In fact, every sexual mature and mentally sound person will have various fantasies about sexual scenes and activities. However, everyone has different frequencies, degrees, diverse content, and attitudes towards it. Take the content of sexual fantasies as an example, it can be said to be diverse and all encompassing, such as:
- Some people love to be bystanders (just like watching pornographic movies or playing CP);
- Some people prefer to act as the protagonist in the plot (immersive experience);
- Some people like to guest star in multiple roles (they really know how to play).
Anyway, moderate sexual fantasies are normal, and it is worth noting that those who silently try can also gain three benefits!
The Three Benefits of Sexual Fantasy
Relieve Anxiety and Relieve Stress
Sexual fantasies are not only one of the active products of the cerebral cortex, but also a psychological defense mechanism. It is the spiritual satisfaction of hope that cannot be temporarily realized in real life.
After entering puberty, people secrete a large amount of sex hormones in their bodies, leading to rapid physiological and psychological development, and sexual desire begins to emerge. However, this vigorous sexual demand may not necessarily be satisfied in reality.
In addition, for long-distance couples, it is common for their desires to be unfulfilled due to long-term separation.
At this moment, the diverse and all encompassing sexual fantasies are undoubtedly an excellent form of release that satisfies human nature, allowing everyone to achieve partial physiological and psychological satisfaction.
In addition, in sexual fantasies, all behaviors such as dating, hugging, caressing, kissing, applauding for love, etc. are carried out according to the way one subconsciously desires, which can enhance physical stimulation, alleviate sexual anxiety, and relieve sexual stress.
Stimulating and Enriching Sexual Activity
Sexual fantasies also have a certain positive significance in sexual life, especially after marriage.
Firstly, moderate and beautiful sexual fantasies are themselves a compensation for the shortcomings in marriage. It can make up for the small lack of passion in marriage and maintain sexual harmony between husband and wife.
Secondly, for couples with harmonious sexual life, sexual fantasies can also add icing on the cake to their sex life.
For example, during the process of sexual activity, especially in the “trigger moment” before orgasm, a little daydreaming can deepen the sexual experience and provide a deeper level of sexual satisfaction.
Finally, if couples can confide in each other about their sexual fantasies, it is a high-intensity sexual stimulation that can effectively increase the excitement level of both parties and provide them with more complete satisfaction.
However, it should be noted that sexual fantasies ultimately belong to extremely private personal behaviors, and everyone’s attitudes towards them are also different.
Even between husband and wife, it is difficult to say whether revealing one’s sexual fantasies is a catalyst for emotions or a bomb for the other party.
Therefore, couples who want to try sharing their sexual fantasies need to communicate and coordinate their sexual values in advance, understand each other’s views on sharing their fantasies, and avoid disputes and emotional harm.
Adjuvant Therapy for Sexual Dysfunction
For individuals with partial sexual dysfunction, functional orgasmic disorders, and sexual frigidity, sexual fantasies serve as a strangely effective “aphrodisiac” with positive auxiliary therapeutic significance, which can make sexual life more satisfying.
How Should We Treat Sexual Fantasy?
Although sexual fantasy have some benefits, once anything goes beyond its limits, its adverse effects will expand and overshadow the positive effects. Sexual fantasy is no exception.
Firstly, it is important to remember that sexual fantasies are normal. It is not sick, vulgar, shameful, and has no moral evaluation significance. For sexual fantasies, people don’t need to be like they are facing a big enemy. Instead, they should recognize that “fantasies ≠ reality”, have a calm attitude, take it lightly, and handle it calmly.
Secondly, do not overly rely on sexual fantasy. Especially, it is important to eliminate sexual fantasies that are not specific to time, occasion, or control, as they can easily deviate from their original intention.
Thirdly, do not become a slave to sexual fantasy.
Conclusion
Sexual fantasy is a normal and common sexual psychological phenomenon, and have three major benefits: relieve anxiety and relieve stress; stimulating and enriching sexual activity; adjuvant therapy for sexual dysfunction. But don’t overly rely on sexual fantasy, let alone become its slaves.
